Torn

I really am torn about something right now I hate it when my heart is being ripped apart in different directions. It started out simply enough Damian's therapy cat ran off and we didn't know if he would be found so we got our neighbor's cat Gizmo who loves Damian and that was supposed to be his cat. Well, Gizmo had other ideas as anyone who has owned a cat knows you don't pick them they pick you. Well, that night it was obvious that Gizmo picked me which was great for Damian because Cloud his cat had been found safe and sound. Now, I can only have one therapy animal to take with me wherever I go as far as apartments go. It will be different from a service animal in that legally I can't take them with me everywhere which is perfect for a cat but I can have that animal with me in my living space even if they don't usually allow them. Here in lays the dilemma I already had a cat Nermal who has grown quite attached to me. She and Gizmo both have my heart and they both are fighting for position. I love different things about both of them Nermal I had since she was a baby and she and I have been through a lot these last two years she helped me through my really really bad anxiety attacks and she loves nothing more than to cuddle up with me in my lap all day. Gizmo is so fluffy and soft and she lets me just pick her up and cuddle her anytime. She also has grown protective of me she even "guards" me when I take a bath cuddling up right near the tub facing the door to make sure that all "intruders" including Damian stay out. It's really cute to watch and she takes quite good care of me. Now the cons, Nermal is still skiddish steming from her early days and she rarely lets me hold her and pick her up and she is temperamental if I leave for more than a short while she refuses to eat and she refuses to love me when I come home. That's a problem I can't just stay around the house all day for her sake I have to live my life. Gizmo doesn't mind but she also likes to terrorize the house but that's just because she is a baby. Gizmo is also properly litter box trained and Nermal is not although we have done our best she still likes to go wherever. I love Nermal and I am worried about her welfare but I am wondering about her ability to be a therapy cat. I'm not trying to be selfish but I do need one for my anxiety. I am doing better they are not as extreme as they have been I can leave my house say for example and not hyperventilate but I still need the comfort and purring of a cat. I need an animal that will allow me to leave the house and still be okay, that will let me handle them and can adjust to change and new situations, I need a cat that is properly litter box trained because one that is not can be a real problem in apartments that usually have a no pet policy. I will need to keep the litter and the apartment clean and free from animal urine and feces. I need a cat that isn't upset if they can't be on my lap and can be independent but is willing to love up on me too especially when they can sense my distress. I don't know what to do given that criteria Gizmo is the better fit but I can't turn my back on Nermal. I don't know what I'm going to do about this one please give me some input I don't want to penalize Nermal because I was the one that took her into this house and tried to give her a home.