I am of infinite worth

I was raised in Young Woman's knowing that I have infinite worth. I believed that even when I was going through a rough time. Then I grew up and got married. All was going great until I was shunned for not having kids among other things. All kinds of accusations were flown at me that ate at me. Slowly, the adversary convinced me that I was wrong, that I didn't have infinite worth that I was not a daughter of a God who loved me conditionally. Then in the last 6 months I've relearned all I once knew and my heart is full of gratitude and love for my Heavenly Father and his tender mercies. I've found a place, a purpose at last. I've found the peace I've sought when I realized who I am. He is my Father despite everything despite every human failing despite every struggle I've had or ever will have nothing can change that fact and no one can take it away from me. I heard this song for the first time out of curiosity and I couldn't' stop crying it was so beautiful. I've loved it ever since. Its called "I am His Daughter". 

Until every voice is heard

I may seem like a broken record but I will be and I don't mind until every voice is heard, everyone's voice who is in anquish and crying out for relief. Until mental health is taken seriously and people don't take their precious lives. God saved me I would be ungrateful to him if I didn't try and reach out to save another. Its worth it hang on FIGHT. Don't let go until help comes. Its going to get better. I know I've been there. I have felt first hand, death seemed to be the answer the only answer for my pain but it wasn't. If I had gone through with it I would have missed so much and hurt so many of my loved ones who would have wondered in their hearts why? and how come? what could we have done to help her and save her? Don't do that to your loved ones. Its not worth it. If this reaches even one then this post is not in vain. 

Exercising and loving it.

I never thought I would see a day where I would actually not just enjoy but love my daily workout and love getting all sweaty. Growing up, I was the chubby fat kid. I was the last one picked for a team and while some PE teachers meant well their approach was far from helpful. They were trying to help whip me into shape but all that resulted from these attempts was my thinking of exercise as merely forms of medieval torture...something to be dreaded and endured as best as I could. This continued throughout my adult life I didn't ever think that I could enjoy physical activity and exercise and I knew that my journey to wellness and weight loss would be incomplete without it. That was until my new friend introduced me to something that I was skeptical about at first, an online fitness club. All the workout videos are from certified instructors but they are all online. I can do them in the privacy of my own home. Not only that but I can learn about healthy nutrition from dietitians and watch motivational videos from sports psychologists. I reluctantly did my 10 day trial and fell in love. I loved the price a month too, just 20 dollars. Heck I spent more than that on fast food. I've grown to look forward to my daily workout because its at my own pace I'm not in competition with anyone else, just me. As a result of this everything in my life is beginning to change. My attitude, my outlook and my habits. I'm no longer a fast food, soda pop junkie. I desire to eat the right foods to fuel my body for my daily workout. I desire to take care of me. I now feel like I'm trapped in a fat suit, one that I can't wait to get out of. Its slow but that's okay I'm moving along in the right direction now and I have found hope. I know I can do this, I get excited every time I'm able to workout a little longer or when I'm discovering muscles that I haven't felt in many years. I'm so thrilled that she told me about this and that this is just what I needed, a safe place to exercise where I wouldn't be judged for being out of shape or slightly uncoordinated. I'm excited to see what these next few months will bring and all the new things I'll be able to do once I get into better shape.