The results of my cleaning

We are almost done cleaning out our bedroom closet we only have one big box left. I'm so proud of me I can't believe how wonderful I feel right now having all that stuff gone. In the process I consolidated a big plastic tote of my childhood and high school memories into one small tote. That was really hard but it was worth it. I had to take an honest look at myself and who I was back then through the sporadic journals I kept and the poetry I wrote. It really was an eye opener oh my gosh I couldn't believe what I had wrote and how I acted. I would have honestly smacked me if I could go back in time. It was hard to realize that but now that I have I'm more determined to act more like a grown up, put on my big girl pants and do whatever it is that I have to do. By the way as part of my cleansing I got rid of all that stuff I wouldn't normally advocate throwing away stuff like a poetry books and journals but mine really weren't worth reading. I was negative, clingy and whiny and you know no wonder a lot of things didn't pan out the way that I wanted it to. I wouldn't have wanted to spend a lot of time with me either acting that way. I'm so thankful for this experience though so I could really see where I had started and where I am now. The difference is like night and day and I'm so thankful for the life I'm trying to live now and where I'm trying to go.

Emotional and Physical Cleansing

Damian and I started being brutally honest as we literally began really deep cleansing our space. We got rid of a bunch of stuff last night about 10 card board boxes with and we are just scratching the surface. It was hard at first but it did feel good as we did it we have a more usable space and we also discovered something else we also felt better emotionally we hadn't realized how much all our clutter and junk was just suffocating us. We are getting ready for a new phase in our lives a phase where we can cram our stuff into a one bedroom and be comfortable in it. We want to save a two bedroom when we can afford one for a child not as an expensive storage unit. We may get a small tiny 5x5 storage unit just for seasonal stuff such as Christmas and summer stuff like camping gear but that's it. We are realizing that we don't need more stuff we don't use or need on a daily basis we need a clean comfortable inviting living space. We both have anxiety and we weren't realizing that all our clutter and stuff was actually making our anxiety feel worse. The next step will be organization but thankfully I have a good friend who is good at that and she volunteered to help me with that part once we get all the cleaning and throwing away done that is the really hard part.

Computer Glitch

Sorry if some of you got deleted off my face book page especially some of my family I was going through my friends and deleting people I had added just because of a game I used to play. In the process my computer would slow down and I would accidentally click one too many times so if you got deleted and got a request to be a friend again that's why. Sorry it took me so long but right now I kinda check in every so often just to check on my one game I still play but I haven't had time until now to really look at my friends and profile so oops. On another note I did get a job that I will love I got it with Spot Tech I start the 28th. I will be setting appointments working Mon-Fri days part time to start with more hours available if I am producing. I am also eligible for various bonuses in addition to my regular pay so I'm happy about that.

Haven't had time

Sorry I haven't had much time for blogging so much has happened that it makes my head spin. MDA put me on standby so that basically fizzled they wanted me they said they just didn't know when. I decided not to wait and as a result have had enormous success looking for work. Thanks to my anxiety being under control now I can let my true self shine. That has been HUGE for me as I have had several job interviews over the last few days and weeks. One company a carpet cleaning company looking for an appointment setter has been fighting over me along with AAA. I nailed a phone interview with them last week and have moved on to an in person one this afternoon. It's so exciting but overwhelming. I feel so happy but so grateful and humble at the same time. I feel overwhelmed with the love Heavenly Father is showing to me and the direction he is taking Damian and I. I have been learning to let him lead and it's been amazing watching him open things for us that would have been closed. Damian is working hard to pass his entrance exam to get into Interface College and we have a lead that can help. A gal in our ward is a teacher and she may be willing to help him and tutor him fingers crossed let's see it never hurts to ask. I will keep you all posted as things change around her but right now I'm being kept busy as I have another possible interview tomorrow.