Father's Day BBQ

Sunday was Father's Day and although I wanted to I was the only one who didn't go to church as we had practically NO clean clothes. My mother in law lets us use her washer and dryer however she had been so busy lately she was never home so while they went to church along with Damian I stayed at their house and did three loads of laundry. I'm thankful I did it feels wonderful to have clean clothes to wear. After church we just sat around and talked and shortly Shawn, Dani and Aunt Joy came over for dinner. It was bring your own meat BBQ with Joy, Damian and I having steak and Mom, Dad, Shawn and Dani having chicken. Dad also grilled up some asparagus it was really good and got eaten right up in fact there was actual tousels over it but I think overall we shared pretty well. The night was fun and went well and what impressed me was how dedicated to the BBQ grill my father in law was because it was raining all evening long so he stood out there in the rain cooking away. Everything came out tasting wonderful as always, he is quite the cook. All in all we had a good time and more importantly I think it was good that Dad had at least some of his kids there with him.

Happy Father's Day

Father's Day is tomorrow so Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there including those with babies on the way. I have been thinking and I have realized I have really been blessed in the dad department, my own dad was a really awesome man and he is missed and my father in law well let's just say I couldn't have asked for anyone better. I all ready have dedicated a whole post to my own dad so it's my father in law's turn. He is a good man he has strong principles and morals along with a warped but good sense of humor once you get to know him. He is on the quiet side but although he doesn't say much sometimes his actions do the speaking for him. Ever since I married his son 9 years ago on June 24th he has been there for me like a father, he treats me as if I am one of his daughter's he treats me with the same respect and love as his own two girls. I appreciate that because that's partly why I missed my dad so much I missed getting fatherly advice and guidance. He has NEVER tried to replace my own father but he has taken good care of me. When I had my old beater of a car it would always break down somewhere so I would call Damian for help and he and dad would immediately come to my rescue without hesitation. I have developed a deep love and respect for this man who is an imperfect being but he is doing the best that he can. He raised two wonderful sons and two beautiful daughters and he has taught his sons by example how to be a good husband and how to treat a lady with respect and he has taught his daughters how they are to be treated by their own husbands. He is a big man and because of this he kind of intimadated me at first but then I realized that he may appear to be gruff at first but he is really a big teddy bear once you get to know him. He has taken good care of me that's for sure and I have learned to rely on him and trust him. I also love how he rides a motorcycle all summer and fall long and how he is in his leather and how he seems to be the "wild" motorcycle gang type if they only knew the real him the man who loves his God, his country and his family. I am grateful I fell in love with Damian and have been blessed to be Gary Impett's daughter in law.

A Season of Babies

Lately I have been finding out that more and more people that I know are pregnant. I'm okay with that just so you know with a full and joyful heart I can say Congratulations and I hope you and your baby are well. You would think that I would be depressed I used to be but not anymore because I'm understanding there is a time and a season for all things and it's not my time or season yet. I have been in constant prayer about it since about Mother's Day because for awhile all the ducks were lining up pretty good for us but then everything came to a grinding and discouraging halt. Then I realized that there must be a good reason for having to wait and come to find out there is along with Damian's bipolar symptoms there seems to be anger issues and one of his triggers is stress when he gets stressed he has a melt down. What does a baby bring sometimes although they are loved and it's worth it sleep deprivation and stress? Damian has a doctor's appointment on July 2nd and we have talked about it in great length and he understands that if he wants to be a father he has to cooperate and get his bipolar under control. I have every confidence that he will be able to do just that and we can continue to finish getting the rest of our ducks in a row. I am not sure whether I will have my own babies or be the adopted mother of them I don't know yet but I'm okay with either one. My heart is being prepared right now to stretch and grow so I can take on whatever it is that I will need to do. I just have to exercise patience and faith in my knowledge that I have not been forgotten or forsaken I just need to be patient for a bit longer. Meanwhile I enjoy being an aunt to my darling nieces and nephews I all ready have and I will give just as much to the new one coming later this Fall. I also can heartily congratulate my friends who are having babies and all those I know who are having babies. Now is their season but I have been learning patience and faith as I have been waiting for my season and I know it will come I don't know when but I know it will. I'm okay with learning patience and faith I need these qualities to be a good mother which is what I want so I will take this time to learn those attributes and prepare myself in other ways as well the time I am being asked to wait will no longer be wasted.

There Must Be Opposition in all things

I was thinking about this lately no one wants to have bad things happen to them or their family but at the same time I have seen where because I went through something or someone I love went through something we have come out of it better and stronger. I'm going to be bold and put this out there Damian and I had A LOT of problems for a couple of years before we separated. We fought like crazy and the fights were nasty too full of spite and accomplished no other objective other than to hurt one another just because. We didn't know why we did that was just the place we were in at that time. Then it all came to a head and we were separated for 13 months to be exact and we were extremely close to a divorce the papers were signed and we had agreed with the terms of our divorce all that was lacking was the filing and I was just about to do that when Damian asked me to wait. It was then that we came back together and started REALLY talking about why we fell in love, what had happened to us and how we could let it happen. We figured out it boiled down to one thing selfishness we had stopped thinking about what was best for the both of us and our partner and best friend and thought only about what was best for ourselves. We also set some ground rules based on mutual respect and understanding. I'm NOT on a soap box saying we are perfect we are a LONG way from that but things are better. We came out of this stronger and better people and more in love than ever. I think this is because we didn't realize what we had until we almost lost it, we saw that the grass wasn't greener on the other side. We also have learned to treat each other with the respect and understanding that we would want given to us. We have learned to listen and support one another and have learned to respect that we are different people who don't have to share all the same interests. I wouldn't want to go through that immense of pain ever again I really hit rock bottom when we were apart but it was all worth it to experience the sweetness of our relationship as it is right now and we are still working on it all the time. I hope it's even better in a few years than it is right now, that's our goal anyway.

My Only Brother's Birthday is in two days

I'm posting now before I forget but my only brother's 26th birthday is in two days. I can't believe how fast that has happened. He has grown up and gotten married and has a house and a little boy now WOW how time goes by. Happy Birthday! I know we didn't always get along but I am glad you are my younger brother you are a good person and even when we didn't always get along you could make me laugh. I LOVE your sense of humor and your "chewbacca." I also love how you have stepped up to protect your sisters and how you try to watch out for us. You are a good brother and I'm glad we were put in the same family.

I'm so happy right now

I'm so happy right now Damian has a doctor's appointment on July 2nd and while it's hard not to get my hopes up as it's just his first appointment I am still really happy that at least SOMETHING is happening and we at least are getting somewhere. I'm praying really hard that they can help him get balanced again so we can live the type of lives that we want to live and be able to do what we want to do. Either way I'm proud of him for realizing that he needs help to deal with this and his willingness to get help and to cooperate. I love him so much and I just want him to be happy again and be able to feel like he can cope again. I also really want the mood swings to stop I think he does too.

Cheap things to do in Spokane

Okay Stephani this post is for you. I got all kinds of ideas, I have a handout about FREE music lessons offered for kids along with free movies at the Garland Theater and Regal Cinemas. I also got the idea to take your kids if they are old enough to an animal shelter and see about walking the dogs or playing with the kittens. I also got the idea to take your kids to the fish hatchery and to call Dominos to see if you can tour their store and see if they will let you make pizzas for your group. I know the store in Airway Heights allows this but you will have to call. It was also suggested that some other places may offer tours of their place of business if you ask. I also was reminded to go to the various parks and take advantage of them and sometimes these parks will show free movies during the summer. To answer your other question what I didn't know about Spokane is that there are walking tours available with information about the various "historic" districts in the Spokane area. That was neat to know I will have to look into this anyway I hope these ideas help.

Enrichment Night and other random events

I usually DO NOT attend our ward's relief society enrichment nights I just haven't had interest. I did this week though with my new friend that I made recently in church Roxanne and I am glad I did. The meeting was about finding ways to organize our lives, our homes and inexpensive things you can do to entertain your kids for the summer. Well I don't have kids but I got a lot of good ideas about how to organize things better I also found some fun stuff to do in Spokane that I didn't even know existed and I have lived her MY WHOLE LIFE. I brought home lots of ideas so any of you with kids can ask me if you want some ideas. I also am really glad I met Roxanne Damian is her and her husband's home teacher and she just came up to me one Sunday and invited us over for dinner and then she volunteered to pick me up for enrichment. She and I had just barely met but we talked as if we had known each other for years. She is a really good person and I'm glad I met her, going to relief society will be more fun now with someone to sit next to. I had been sitting alone since my mother in law got her primary calling. I also had a good time this morning I didn't think I would but I did. We got up early for a Saturday around 8 and we got picked up and we and some other people from our ward helped mow the lawn of the church grounds etc and it was actually kinda sorta fun. I am glad that they have asked us to help maintain the church grounds in addition to taking turns cleaning the church I think that gives the members a sense of ownership and they will be more likely to treat the church with the respect that it deserves.

Now we're getting somewhere

FINALLY we are getting somewhere with getting help for Damian's bipolar/depression symptoms. Last summer he went through the wringer emotionally and he couldn't find anyone willing or able to accept his medical coupons so he and I went through a summer of severe ups and downs and mood swings. I was bound and determined that was NOT going to happen this summer. Damian can't handle it last time really wore him down. So I got out the phone book and just started calling luckily for me the first place I called accepted his type of medical coupons and all Damian had to do was call back the next day and talk to them something called an intake appointment where they asked him a bunch of questions. Good news!!! Not only can they help him but they also have openings in 2-4 weeks this sounds like a long time but not compared to last year when we were told that he would have to wait 6 months to a year to get assistance only to find out they didn't have records that Damian had even called them to get an appointment. GRRRR! It was really frustrating so this is good news for the both of us. Damian is hoping he can help get balanced and get straightened out so he can sleep better and function better and hopefully get and keep a job better. I am so grateful that so far our prayers are being answered.

Dedicated to my dad

My dad was the kindest soul that I have known and he was the best dad ever. Even when I was being punished he still managed to show so much love for me. He always was there when I needed him I knew everything would be okay as long as my big strong dad was there with me. He encouraged me to reach for the stars and to follow my heart and my dreams. He taught me morals and values and right from wrong by not just words but his example. He was a living breathing example of love and charity and I respected him for following through he never told me to do as he said and not as he did. He wasn't perfect but I knew I could follow his lead and example and still do good things. I found this song many years ago and I think of him when I hear it because dad was always there for me and although I am moving on with my life the best that I can there is still a place reserved for him in my heart. This song is dedicated in loving memory of my dad.

Thinking thoughts of dad

This June hasn't hit me as hard as all the others have every year I dread the month of June granted something wonderful happened to me in that month I got married but on the other hand there is the anniversary of my dad's death and our car accident, his birthday and his burial and Father's day all within a couple weeks of each other and for a long time that has been a lot for me to handle all at once. However, this year I have done a lot better I don't know why maybe because it has been 19 years now and time has been slowly helping it be a little better although I still miss him. Maybe it's because I have the peace of my faith to comfort me and I'm trying hard to accept that he is gone and nothing will bring him back. I don't know what it is all I know is that this year was a little bit easier although I did reminisce and I did remember him and I did shed a small tear or two. However, what I am trying to do is carry on his legacy as a way to honor him he loved people very much. He would give the shirt off his back to someone in need and he taught me that love all my life. I watched him always and he never failed to show love and compassion and forgiveness. In fact I can pretty much guarantee that he has forgiven the man who was driving drunk who hit us. That's just the man that he was. I miss him dearly but at the same time I know that as much as I need him God must have needed him more so I do my best to carry on and move one foot in front of the other and try to be cheerful and happy and do my best. Dad would want that for me he would want me to live my life to the fullest and get joy out of it and a few laughs.

Will be able to afford Hawaii

Damian and I have NOT given up our dream of going to Hawaii for our 10 year anniversary to renew our wedding vows BUT come to find out the month of June when our anniversary is is also peak season in Hawaii. Just when I got discouraged and was about to scrap the idea my friend suggested I go in the off season still decent weather BUT also more bang for my buck. So, I looked say in January and I found out that we can get two round trip airline tickets and 4 nights in a nice hotel with fridge and microwave for 1,549 dollars. I couldn't believe how cheap that is. We also are going to save money by being able to go to a grocery store buy some food and heat it up in our hotel that works for me. We figure the whole trip should cost no more than 2,359 that's less than what our flights and hotel would have cost us during the off season so I am so excited!!! We just might be able to make this happen after all. I also found what I want to wear for the vow renewal ceremony at Catherines it's a blue tropical print jacket dress I think it will be fun to wear something tropical themed. Damian was a little disappointed that we couldn't be doing this ON our anniversary but he has learned to accept it and it still will be a trip of a lifetime.

Almost nine years

Damian and I will be celebrating nine years married on June 24th, we have had our ups and downs and have had times where we thought we wouldn't make it and we hurt each other really bad but in the end our love conquered all doubts and fears. He is in EVERY sense of the word my husband and BEST friend I wouldn't want to spend my life and eternity with anyone else. He is the best thing that happened for me. This song and video is for him the only way I know to thank him for loving me I haven't been the easiest person to love sometimes but he stuck it out with me. Love you baby!!!