Blissfully Boring

Life right now for us is blissfully dull and boring which is just the way I like it. I continue to work weekends for Evergreen Tree Care, I continue to love it and I'm pretty good at it. I'm able to get my quota anyway so I don't get in trouble and I'm blessed on occasion with some commission which does come very much in handy. I'm good right now where I am so I'm not going to mess with it. Damian is calming down too and is starting to thrive with the help of Kim his therapist she is really working with him helping him with social, life skills etc and in turn that is helping him to learn how to succeed in life with his autism. He hadn't been shown all these things so he is getting help now and is doing great, it's a work in progress and a step at a time sometimes baby steps but that's okay I'm beginning to notice and more importantly so are some other people. She want to make sure that Damian has a solid foundation under him so we can set him up for success not another failure and I agree I want him to feel the sense of accomplishment that comes with doing well. So yep that's pretty much our life it's pretty quiet and dull but that's just the way we like it free of drama and the emotional turmoil that comes with it.

A second wind

Lately I've been really feeling beat down and tired like I'm fighting a constant battle. In a way I am I've been battling my constant anxiety attacks and panic attacks but here's the GOOD news I'm starting to win and it feels amazing. I will always battle that but I'm winning. What I mean is that I was feeling beaten down for simply choosing to forge my own path. I honestly could care less about what some people think right now I don't care but I won't lie it still hurts when someone I love and care about says and does rude things or tries to discourage me. I had been feeling beaten down because also I have always always reached out with love to others without even thinking about what was going to be in it for me well lately I had felt like I wasn't getting anywhere that there was just too much selfishness and cruelty in the world. Then tonight I couldn't get any sleep and out of the blue I hopped on facebook and a good good friend of mine since the 6th grade messaged me. We had been talking about how now she has a good man in her life and how she doesn't feel like she deserves him just because she has a learning disability. I felt inspired to share with her my love and friendship and how that never affected me and how everyone has a right to happiness and love. She had to go that day as she was at work but tonight she messaged me again and thanked me from the bottom of her heart. We then were able to talk a few hours and it really meant a lot to me. It meant a lot to know that I haven't been wasting my time energy or breath. I have new vigor now I'm full of life and energy now. I know I can't reach everyone that would be impossible but I do now have the strength I need to those within my reach who may be in need of assistance. I really am glad now that I couldn't sleep last night I really needed to hear that. I'm so grateful to my Heavenly Father for this experience she even said herself and she's not really a Christian I don't know why I am telling you this but I just feel in my heart that I need to. I know exactly why and she did too after I was crying happy tears telling her how much it meant to me to hear her say all this and how I needed to hear this. This will be a great week now that I have new energy to throw into all my activities and as I work hard to continue to get my life back the way I want it to be.

This gives me chills

This song has always given me chills ever since I first heard it when "Hercules" came out. If you really study and listen to the lyrics it does have a spiritual message to it if we overcome the adversities in our lives when it comes to the end we will have a hero's welcome waiting and we will have our loved ones waiting. I would like to think that they are not only looking out for us but that they are cheering us on when we chose to not accept defeat and keep going or even when we once were defeated but we chose to get up and keep going. Anyway I love this song and I hope you will too.

The High Road

I've been asked lately to go through some trials and things and it's okay I've learned not to murmur I've learned to take them as they are meant as a life lesson or as something I need at the moment in my life. I've learned how to do this as I've done a daily gratitude list and that has really really helped me a lot. I've also turned to my father in heaven in more fervent prayer learning to thank him for all and to ask him to not take away these challenges but to help me have the strength to take them on. It's still hard though and I'm not meaning to whine because compared to what some other people I know are going through right now my life is easy but what makes it hard is that the people who are causing these challenges are people that I love and care about. It's difficult when people you love and trust can't be trusted and they feel they need to make snide comments or they need to stab you in the back. They are so bored with their life that they have to try and create drama in yours. It's really hard to rise above that but right now I think that's the lesson I need to learn. I've been learning that you will reap what you sow and I have. I have been given back the love and kindness I have dished out in such abundance that I am so blessed but at the same time I have to learn to keep going. I have to keep going even if someone I loved deeply as a friend betrays me and tries to be petty and rude. I have to keep my head held high and take the high road and keep going. It's not easy to do that's why I'm posting this it's downright frustrating but I'm not alone I feel the love of people who do love me and I feel the love of my Heavenly Father. This love tells me I'm on the right track I'm on a path that will lead me to happiness and my dreams coming true this is just a temporary obstacle. I'll overcome it I'll eventually learn to take the high road no matter what and just ignore the people who want to hurt me because that's easier than admitting that something must be lacking in their life. I'll get there but right now I'm just learning how to keep climbing and not get discouraged. I used to back off when I got this stuff thrown at me now I'm learning to hang on and keep climbing and just keep going. I'm learning that when stuff like this happens I must be on the right track and that adversity doesn't mean that I stop it means that I keep on keeping on til I get there.

The strength of Love

I've been realizing lately one of the gifts I have been given has a lot of power and strength to it now that I have learned how to use it properly. I have been blessed with a loving, sensitive heart and soul that could reach out and love anyone. When I was young I didn't have the strength to harness it and it controlled me often leading to extreme heart break. However, now it is coming into it's own it is the strength of love that will heal and help the human race. Anger, biogottry, hatred, ignorance, and selfishness are what destroy it is love, compassion, empathy and understanding that build up. I'm learning the power of this gift and how to use it and I have seen it's fruit. I continue to use my gift to try and bless as many as I can however I'm learning to concentrate it using more of it on those that are ready to accept it and less on those that would want to use me. Love, compassion and empathy for human kind is not weakness and I will no longer allow anyone to use my gift against me. As a result the power is amplified and those can feel my love and concern for them. I still have hope for human kind we can turn things around one heart at at time. I am an eternal optimist and I refuse to give up I will spend my every last breath reaching out with love to those around me. This song means so much to me always has and always will.



This one does as well it's a very strong song with a strong message and I feel it sums up my mission.