A proud proud moment

Tonight my gift from my cousin came she promised she would send me a scale before Christmas and she did so. I of course had to try it out I have not been to TOPS in a month and a half so I was just a little bit nervous. I wondered if I had learned enough to keep going on my own. I wondered if I had let myself slip since I didn't know what I weighed but I didn't have anything to worry about I was down 3 more pounds 13 total. That isn't a lot really but a loss is a loss and I'm proud of it. I'm proud that I kept going without a group to keep me on track that gives me confidence that I can do this on my own and keep the weight off because that means I've been learning to have complete self control. This will be a key ingredient to my lasting success. More exciting things will be on the horizon for me as I get re motivated with my exercise I'm more excited to get back on that bandwagon now that I have a better way to judge my progress. I also realized I'm only 5 lbs away from once again being at the lowest weight I've been since before I graduated from high school but the difference I'm not stopping there. It may take time but I am determined to get down to my goal weigh. I of course know I will have to make smaller goals my goals are going to be gauged every 2 months. It is my goal every 8 weeks to lose a total of 10 lbs I'm almost out of my 280s now so come Dec 1st I will see what I can do between then and Feb 1st. Along with that I hope to measure myself of course to get the whole picture with what is going on. So excited with my new scale and the great tool it will be on my mission to a new healthier stronger more confident me. 

Feeling so much better

Since my last post life has been just as chaotic as usual but the difference I am not feeling anxiousness or feelings of hopelessness my experiments have been working. I have realized and been practicing this one simple thing I am not in control of anything or anyone else but me. I can't control what someone else thinks feels does etc but I can control my reaction. I have learned that I only have so much energy and I can use my energy wisely and where it will do the most good or I can use it worrying and trying to change things and situations that I don't have any direct control over. I decided that the time has more than come for me to work smarter not harder. I have given up TOPS for the moment the group not the lifestyle I've been a part of two groups now and have had the same drama that I found at Weight Watchers so what I do now is I still do what I've been doing eating better and making good choices and I still exercise but when I need support I reach out to friends and loved ones. I wish I knew what I weigh though the downfall I don't yet have a scale but that's okay. I don't need the drama weekly just to know what the scale says its just not worth any of it. However I will say this out of my first TOPS group I met a great person who has turned into a wonderful supportive friend so that wasn't a total waste of my time or money. I don't know yet if we will try to find another meeting or not meanwhile we just try and keep doing the smart things at home.