Saturday, March 7, 2009

If I could go back in time

I have doing a lot of contemplating lately about how things have turned out and for the most part I'm happy and content but there is one thing that has been haunting me that I would change if I could. If I had the ability to go back in time and change one thing that would be my younger post highschool self. I did great in highschool managing good grades and a fairly healthy social life BUT after highschool I let things slip and basically my grades were okay but nothing spectacular and definitely not up to the potential I know that I have. Eventually due to other responsibilities I gave up and haven't been back and that I think has been the biggest mistake I have ever made. I'm not dwelling on it to beat myself up over it but to realize that I laid a pattern that I have had a hard time breaking since. I gave up on myself and quit when it got hard instead of fighting it out which I should have done. I should have worked for that education instead of giving up on it and myself. I know it's not too late and I do have plans to go back but it will be harder now than it was when I was 19 not impossible though. That's why if I could I would go back in time and give my 18 and 19 year old self a pep talk about why college is so important and why I needed to finish. I think if I had done that I wouldn't have had as much of a struggle getting and maintaining employment.

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