Just some random thoughts

I have had some random thoughts run through my head lately so pardon me but I am going to share them out loud. First of all I am so grateful to still have my job. These last two weeks were my probationary period as I finished my training and my first week without a trainer to help me. I was on pins and needles let me tell you but I learned something I learned that sometimes no news is good news and I must have my job because I was told to come back so I'm okay with that. I love my job I really do it's not for everyone but I love it and that's all that really matters. I am so grateful to be employed and to be able to start earning some money again. I'm also grateful that my anxiety is no longer getting the best of me. I have also been realizing this week how hard it is to care about someone a lot but give them room to make their own choices and decisions but to stand beside them no matter what they decide. I am trying hard not to still be mad at Dani for throwing us all under the bus but she and my brother in law are still married so I need to back off and stay out of it. I also consider my brother in law to be a brother to me we are really close so it's hard for me to stand back and watch him go through this and watch her get his hopes up and stomp on his heart but at the same time I know he needs to do this on his own. I am just trying to listen and be there for support no matter what the outcome is. It's been fun working with him though he is a kick in the pants and he still has a smile and a sense of humor even when he's hurting that's something I can admire. I also have been overcome with awe and amazement at how much Heavenly Father knows and loves each one of us. I learned this over the weekend when my best friend Christina came over. She has been going through a lot lately and she knows how I feel about her. She is like a sister to me there isn't anything I wouldn't do to try and help her or be there for her if I can. However, I also love her enough to respect her space and not pry even when I can sense that something is wrong. Well, we got to talking late Saturday night after Damian went to bed and somehow I started to talk to her about her current situation which she had not told me about at all. She was startled and asked me how I knew and I told her since we are both religious good people that while I didn't know someone who loved her more than even me did and he knew that she needed to hear what he told me to tell her. She cried a little but I could tell that she felt relieved because lately things have not been going well in all parts of her life and she just needed to know that she had been heard and had not been forgotten. I think we all need to feel that way from time to time. I think our bond grew even more if that is at all possible. I also reassured her that Damian and I are back on our own two legs again while she is not even able to be under the same roof as her kids at the moment because she had to live with her aunt where she works and her kids had to stay behind with her mother in law until she can afford to get them their own place. She is close to saving enough but is still a little shy. I really touched her when I let her know that I would be happy to float her the last little bit that she needs and that they could pay me back when they can but until then let me do what I can to help her reunite her family so they can be together and so her husband can have a place to come home too when he comes back from his trucking. I have been helped by many the least I can do is pay it forward and help them. I learned the powerful bonds of friendship, that Heavenly Father loves us and knows what our needs are even when we think we are sinking fast and that if we pay attention he will send a life raft our way we just have to look for it because it can be in many forms even in the form of a dear dear friend or in the kindness of a random stranger.