Two Faced People Round Two

I can't believe that I need to post this again this is really starting to get on my nerves. I want to clarify some things with some people in my life, I was known growing up and in High School as a good friend to a lot of people and I'm proud of that I love my friends very much and I had all kinds from all walks of life.Many of them also gave me so much love and support it knocked my socks off and to those wonderful loving people who did more for me than you can ever know I am not talking about you, also to the wonderful friends I have found later on in my life I'm not talking about you either. What I am talking about is a select few I have given love too and unconditional support and hours of my time on an ongoing basis and then what I get in return is drama and more drama, confidences I shared are broken and then when I need something you disapppear not talking to me for some unknown reason but then miraculously you show up again when your life bottoms out and I am needed again all without accknowledging that hurt was caused and at least trying to talk about it and make the problem right. I do not want to be accused to not forgiving because that would be wrong I have forgiven I have no ill will toward anyone however that does not mean that I must remain a door mat for anyone to walk on. I have a loving and giving nature I have been given that and I like to use it to love and care for my friends I will give you anything that is in my power to give including my time, my love and support, etc however I can't just keep blindly giving. I used to think that I could but over a long period of time I became emotionally bankrupt and I had a nervous breakdown and needed to get some counseling which I did and a miracle happened I learned that I can say no and have boundaries and that a good and real true friend would respect that I had to tell them no once in a while and that they would respect my boundaries and not cross them. So that is what I have done and for the most part it works well I give and love and help as I can but sometimes on occassion if it means that it would completely tap my resources I have to say no and my friends understand. I am not being selfish or mean spirited I am respecting myself and I am asking to be respected in return. The problem lies with some people in my life who want to walk all over me, take confidences that I tell them and gossip about it like we are still in high school and worse than that have no remorse for how I am treated at all but then accuse me of being heartless when I am not there for them. I am not heartless at all I feel for your situation but at the same time I am a human being with worth too and I need to be treated with equal respect. Being a friend does not mean walking on another person or telling them what to do like they are a child and it doesn't mean that you blab everything they tell you to everyone else. I am not perfect in any of this as well but I am trying especially to not gossip because I have seen first hand what it does to people and how much it hurts them. Think twice before you tell me that I am heartless and cruel about how maybe there is a reason why I am telling you no and it just might be because I am tired of being told what to do, I'm tired of giving and giving and giving to you and getting nothing back at all including some respect, I'm tired of not being able to trust you, I'm tired of gossiping about my famiy and friends and I'm tired of walking on eggshells all the time so you don't get mad at me for some retarded reason and decide to just stop talking to me instead of being an adult and talking it out. I have a newsflash for those people conflicts among friends happen from time to time it is inevitable even among the best of friends but real friends work it out and talk it out they just don't give their friend the cold shoulder and then decide when it is convenient to start talking to them again and just pick up the friendship where it left off I'm sorry but it doesn't work that way. I am not harbering any ill will toward anyone but enough is enough too I have to also love and take care of myself once in awhile because if I don't I will not have the energy that I need to be a wife to my husband, a daughter or a sister or even a friend to anyone. I have to sometimes first and foremost take care of myself and if according to some people I am being selfish when I do then fine I am being selfish.