My Gold to Refine

These last few months I've been pondering and piecing together the reasons why I went through so much in my younger years. Why I had to suffer and go through so much pain. Its just been now over 20 years later that I see the why. My Lord was preparing me for a place in his kingdom, I was needed and I had to be properly prepared. I used to write poems all the time but hadn't in years...due to just not feeling inspired. Well, I wrote one this morning from my heart letting my Master know I understand his purpose for everything he had me suffer. I don't hold any grudges in my heart, it was all to prepare me for my mission here in this life. He needed me to grow and struggle.

 Lord,Lord it is too much too much I used to say

It is too much the burden, the price I've had to pay. 

Why why would you take so much from me

My dad, my friends, sometimes my dignity. 

Sometimes it seemed he wouldn't answer my why,

Late into the sleepless nights wouldn't hear my cries.

What I didn't yet see in my flawed mind

Was that my Lord, my Master had his own design.

All of this was to help my gold to refine.

I couldn't see the times he silenced all my fears

The friends, loved ones sent to wipe my tears

I was too busy whining to yet understand

This was all part of his master plan.

My suffering was not in vain

His son had too suffered, he knew my pain.

Out of my pain there were ways to grow,

Things to learn things to know.

I try to keep this in my mind,

Everytime my gold needs refined.