A second wind

Lately I've been really feeling beat down and tired like I'm fighting a constant battle. In a way I am I've been battling my constant anxiety attacks and panic attacks but here's the GOOD news I'm starting to win and it feels amazing. I will always battle that but I'm winning. What I mean is that I was feeling beaten down for simply choosing to forge my own path. I honestly could care less about what some people think right now I don't care but I won't lie it still hurts when someone I love and care about says and does rude things or tries to discourage me. I had been feeling beaten down because also I have always always reached out with love to others without even thinking about what was going to be in it for me well lately I had felt like I wasn't getting anywhere that there was just too much selfishness and cruelty in the world. Then tonight I couldn't get any sleep and out of the blue I hopped on facebook and a good good friend of mine since the 6th grade messaged me. We had been talking about how now she has a good man in her life and how she doesn't feel like she deserves him just because she has a learning disability. I felt inspired to share with her my love and friendship and how that never affected me and how everyone has a right to happiness and love. She had to go that day as she was at work but tonight she messaged me again and thanked me from the bottom of her heart. We then were able to talk a few hours and it really meant a lot to me. It meant a lot to know that I haven't been wasting my time energy or breath. I have new vigor now I'm full of life and energy now. I know I can't reach everyone that would be impossible but I do now have the strength I need to those within my reach who may be in need of assistance. I really am glad now that I couldn't sleep last night I really needed to hear that. I'm so grateful to my Heavenly Father for this experience she even said herself and she's not really a Christian I don't know why I am telling you this but I just feel in my heart that I need to. I know exactly why and she did too after I was crying happy tears telling her how much it meant to me to hear her say all this and how I needed to hear this. This will be a great week now that I have new energy to throw into all my activities and as I work hard to continue to get my life back the way I want it to be.