My struggles have not been in vain

As I've been reading through past conference talks to create my own personal doctrinal quote book based on various gospel topics I have felt overwhelmed by the Spirit. I missed General Conference but am looking forward to reading and listening to the talks online. I did get to read a talk President Monson gave to the Relief Society and my heart was overwhelmed with love and joy. I felt that he had been talking to me. He spoke about life's challenges and how the Lord is aware of us even during those dark times, we do not suffer in vain the Lord loves us and uses our struggles for our benefit. This has such a personal connection to me because for many many years after my dad's death I was locked into a depression so deep that I felt as if I was in a black hole. There was no escape I thought and there are no words to describe the agony, hopelessness, and misery that were my daily life. I went through the motions but that was all, I was numb to all feeling. I didn't think that anyone or anything could reach me and eventually I let the darkness overcome me and in time I actually heard whispering in my ear that it would be better if I were dead. I was no longer able to fight so I almost went along with that idea. This talk reminded me of that time not because of that pain but because of His love. He knows me He loves me personally, I am His child. He knew I had lost hope, He knew I could no longer fight but He also knew I had work to do, I still had a purpose. He sent Young Women leaders who in their infinite wisdom nurtured and included me in everything from activities to even being a part of the class leadership. Under their care I began to blossom and understand my infinite worth. I still struggled daily however, so their efforts would not be enough reinforcements would be needed. That came in the form of good LDS friends from a neighboring ward who took me under their wing strengthening and fortifying me on a daily basis. I should have gotten mental help but at that time I did not trust strangers I was like a wounded animal and fought anyone who I did not know. The Lord knew this too so my friends were strengthened by Him and taught how to reach me. Many times their acts of love, service, and encouragement were just the healing balm I needed. When I lost my will to fight and almost yielded they read inspired scripture to remind me to stay the course and keep fighting. When I felt like I didn't have a friend in the world they embraced me making me feel like I was a part of them. Given time and patience I was able to get strong again and I was able to keep fighting. I am so grateful to a loving Father in Heaven who knew me and loved me and sent angels on Earth to help me in my time of distress. This distress was not wasted, because of it I learned how to succor and lift another. I had experienced intense pain and misery and because of that I could feel and understand when someone else was going through a painful experience. I see now many years later how the Lord used this to educate and help me. He was showing me that nothing we ever go through is out of reach of the healing balm of our Savior. Everything is for our good no matter how gut wrenching or painful. I was being schooled in how to reach out and love another as our Savior loved. I still have work to do but understanding now why I went through this struggle has helped me embrace it and has helped me move past it. I am so grateful to a loving Father who knows me and loves me enough to send me reinforcements in my time of need. I am so grateful to the dear friends he sent to help strengthen me, love me and help me. I am so grateful for the Young Women's program and the values and lessons I was taught there. It is a wonderful inspired program.