The Serenity to accept what you can't change

A lot has changed since my last post for the better I think. I was just about to start a second job when my first job Evergreen offered me some extra shifts six 10 hour shifts to be exact. It's not exactly full time but it will help that's an extra 750 bucks and I would have been a fool to turn that down. Besides the closer I was to starting that second job the more it didn't feel right. They were in charge I was just going to be working for them and they didn't have a clue what they wanted me to say or anything so that was going to be a disaster. I hope that soon I'll be given full time but we'll see what happens meanwhile I don't mind filling in my supervisor Ken said he would do what he could to make sure I could get extra hours so I could move. He's awesome!!! I did have a major anxiety attack at work last weekend but I pulled through. I spent the week recovering and in the process I learned some important things about myself I learned to gauge when I am freaking out so I can nip it in the bud. I learned to take my pills twice a day since they are 12 hour release so I can have the 5-HTP in my system to help calm me. I learned that I can't take on everyone's problems and that I can't save the world. I learned that I can't be perfect and shooting for that is impossible. I learned that it's okay to ask for and accept help and I learned that I have to accept what I can't change and that it's okay I don't have to be in control of everything. As a result I bounced back in a major way yesterday at work. I was on probation for not getting my leads but I fixed that. I needed 8 leads for the weekend and I got 8 yesterday so yay for comebacks. I also realized that I can use my adrenaline in a positive way instead of running away I can run toward something and use it to power me forward. I have made a lot of progress and I'm proud of me most importantly I know who I can trust and I know who I can count on and that's important.