My Group

It's just been amazing what has happened in just a short time. I made two new friends with women I didn't even know this time last year all because of my group. It's been great to reach out to them and find common ground it's powerful to find someone anyone who understands you and where you are coming from. It's also been an eye opener for me as I have relived my journey with them to see how far I have come in just a short amount of time. It's been silly all the years I wasted being so down and bitter I could have already been a mom by now if I had just stopped being stubborn and stopped throwing my tantrums and been open to what Heavenly Father's plan was. It was silly all the years I wasted obsessing being angry and bitter over something I had no control over. It's felt amazing to share with them encouragement and support and reassure them that I was where they were and that they can find happiness and fulfillment too. It feels really great to be able to pay forward all the love, compassion, friendship and empathy I have been given over the years. I have given to these women but they have given to me too it's been a wonderful feeling to realize where I was and see where I am now and how much healing has taken place. I still have moments I won't lie but now I don't cringe when someone I love wants to share their good news with me instead I can rejoice with them. I don't dread going to a baby shower I have a really great time. Most important I don't dread the coming of Mother's Day and cower in bed with the covers over my head I'm not kidding instead I embrace it and celebrate the women I know who are moms. I don't cry so hard I can't breathe and throw a tantrum as I scream out "It's not fair!!" I know sometimes things don't seem fair but that I haven't been forsaken I have been given beautiful loving nieces and nephew that I love so much. I have been given the chance to help others and some day soon if things keep progressing I will be given the chance to hear what will be music to my ears my own kids calling me mommy. I am grateful for the challenges I have had to go through because now that they are over I can see my growth and see how I am a better person because of all this. I was not ready years ago emotionally to handle being a mother to children who need me to be there for them completely and go to bat for them. I had my own issues to sort out so I wouldn't pass them on to them which would have not been fair to them.